“You don’t understand….”
And it was true, I did not understand this loneliness as he described it. I know loneliness too well. Time and again he’d wrapped his arms around my soul squizzing out all joy and merriment.
That loneliness I knew.
I knew the loneliness of sitting in a crowd full of gaily cheer, wondering when it would all end so I could crawl into my bed and forget it all.
I know the loneliness of rejection, when you’ve built your life around a significant other and they had walked away from it all without a backward glance. I know that gnawing restless need that would not be sated because after a whole day of labor; you get home to a silent house, not a text or the faintest reminder that someone somewhere is aware of your existence, and affirms it.
I know the pain of lying alone on my bed wide awake at 3 am contemplating ending it all…
Here though sat a man telling me about his lonely life.
And for the life of me it was all strange.
I envied his existence. Everything I was he was an opposite. I was reserved, he was the life of the party; I was single he was “happily” married.
While I took it all slow, he was a wound up spring set loose.
And here he was telling me about his loneliness.
He lay in bed wide awake at 3 am with a snoring wife beside him.
He sat at his desk and wept for the pain that pills would not assuage.
He took a lass for comfort and she milked him and left him high and dry.
These tears he was shedding tagged at my heart for they expressed so acutely the pain that I thought was mine alone.
Before my eyes unravelled a soul, a kindred spirit fighting demons in the night.
The question still lingers, it hasn’t found an answer yet. How is it possible that loneliness would pierce all our hearts,alone and sorrounded by love?
Whence did this gnawing hurt come from?
He hangs by a chord who had been held by a strand.
He hangs alone in an office full of stuff
And those he loved have no clue how long he suffered this wound.
He and I alone together
Day by day